How do you respond when someone praises you for your efforts? I bet you feel great.

On the other hand, how do you feel when someone tears into you with brutal feedback? I bet you feel awful. In some cases these negative moments can last for years and severely damage your confidence.

A secret ingredient to team chemistry is having a positive culture where everyone builds up their teammates regardless of their role on the team.

It is important to involve every member of the team as an equal and encourage them for the great things they do, even if those contributions do not show up in the game statistics. After all, we all want to feel respected.

Remember that you have a great opportunity every time you interact with someone to impact the way he or she feels about themselves. It is one of the best gifts you can give to the people around you.

So how exactly do you build people up?

• • Focus on the facts, not the person.
    • Saying, “Usually you put forth more effort in practice than anyone, but in the past week you’ve been late twice” is a lot more likely to maintain self-esteem than if you said, “Boy, you sure seem to have issues with showing up on time!”

 

• • Do not label others.
    • Putting labels on people can hurt. Don’t call people rude, or lazy, or anything else that would tear them down.

 

• • Ask questions to understand others’ motives.
    • Don’t guess what might have caused a problem since it might make people defensive. It is much better to ask an open-ended question like, “What do you think caused us to struggle?” Try to avoid blurting out mean questions like, “Are you intentionally trying to make us lose?”

 

• • Recognize good effort.
    • Effort is the key to success since athletes can control it. Praise them for giving their all.

 

• • Always show confidence that others can succeed.
    • Believing in others will only increase their confidence, especially when they are down on themselves.

 

• • Be specific and be sincere.
    • People can easily tell if you are being authentic or not, so be sincere in how you talk to people.

 

By following these tips, you will remind others that they have value and their contributions are meaningful. An added bonus is that it will make you feel good too! The bottom line is that when someone walks away after a conversation with you, they shouldn’t feel worse than before they started the conversation. In fact, you should make it goal that they should leave feeling even better about themselves!

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